I’ve been wanting to share my thoughts on being highly sensitive for a while. I have done quite a lot of research into this personality trait largely to figure myself out and, why certain life choices have worked, and others haven’t.
Also, why as highly sensitives, we often feel misunderstood in this world. I’m a big fan of Dr. Elaine Aron’s work who following her PhD on this subject, found that 20% of the world’s population are highly sensitive.
We live in a world that does not really understand highly sensitives and this trait is often perceived as weak. My own findings have shown quite the opposite.
How did it begin for me then. As a reflective person, I started asking myself these questions:
In highly stimulating environments, why do some people just ‘get on with it’ whereas I feel as though I must retreat for periods of time?
Why are some people always ‘out there and switched on’ whereas I feel exhausted periodically?
Why are some people oblivious to the things going on around them whereas I notice everything? Like the energy around me and people's moods and behaviours.
How are people around me satisfied having surface level conversations and aspiring to surface level lives when I feel as though my spirit is dying/ starving?
Of course, when I refer to 'others', this is purely my perception as upon speaking to people, I have learned that many have had experiences like mine. I also appreciate how trauma and external messaging plays a part in human behaviour, so the answers to the above questions are more complex than I’m about to share and therefore I only refer to my own lived experience in this context.
I’ve concluded that although being highly sensitive comes with its challenges, if it’s nurtured in the right environment and way, it pays dividends.
Here’s why:
As a highly sensitive, I notice the intricate details around me therefore my ability to problem solve, strategise and plan can be meticulous.
We live in a world which promotes ‘going’ all the time which often has an adverse effect on health and wellbeing. I’ve heard people say, ‘I can’t meditate because my brain is going all the time’. I know it’s because they may not be comfortable with their own silence. Being aware of my highly sensitive trait, even though it is not always possible, I know what it takes to get back to a state of equilibrium if my mind is overstimulated and ‘busy’. This is in fact a beautiful place. A place where we feel 'well' and where the best creative ideas are often born.
Chaos does not suit me well so organising and strategising are my strong suit. This ensures that overall, things run smoothly. I do have a tendency for the need to control outcomes so am learning to allow things to flow :)
Highly sensitives are often empaths and can have a good understanding of their fellow humans. This means that we can talk to almost anyone regardless of what culture they’re from, what they do for a living, their socio-economic status, their age, gender, sexual orientation etc.
As a highly sensitive I do not do very well with small talk and enjoy deep and spiritually nourishing conversations. This allows me to attract interesting people with whom I can foster beautiful relationships which in turn, makes my life and network, colourful and rich.
Highly sensitives have a dynamic inner world which is why we're often very artistic. I imagine Van Gogh would have been a highly sensitive. Suffered throughout his lifetime and revered as one of the greatest artists to have ever lived, after his death. What an irony!
Being highly sensitive is a strength and it should be valued by society as opposed to undermined and often shunned. It needs to be nurtured so highly sensitives can thrive because if these things are in place, they will certainly thrive.
If you can relate to this, I hope that it makes you feel less alone as often we can feel like outsiders and misfits.
It has taken me many years of inner work and self discovery to understand myself better so I can be who I was meant to be. If you'd like to delve deeper into your inner world, I am hosting a Self Discovery Workshop on September 21st. To find out more, you can click this link. If you have any feedback on this post or any questions, feel free to email me :)
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